recover post? i wish i could recover me.

why is it so hard to be your daughter? why the excesses of psychosis that damage all our lives?

its hard to let go of you; but its harder still to live here; alone; while you slowly kill yourself there- and trigger a chain reaction here.
you're killing me as well.

marriage. is it a joke to you? on and off...something to do for the lack of any other way to kill time?
i'm not ready to be manipulated like this- and yet...and yet..you manipulate me every damn second; every damn day of my life.

whats compassion and affection got to do with it?

you cant divorce emotion from action. you think you can right now.
i hope you cant do it.

it seeps through me slowly. whats your agenda anyhow?

i'm so tired of defending myself; my actions; my choices to you.

i'm tired of justifying his presence in my life..what do you want me to do- get rid of him?

i wish it were that easy.
i wish you were easier to manage.

what do i say to him anyhow...marry me or else?
else what, huh, dad?

you'll tie me down to someone else?
or throw me off the damn howrah bridge- i wudnt put it past you.

i give up.
you havent even left me achoice.

not you. not him.

no one.

very well then.