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i have given up hope. why bother, when all you get are time extensions and probations? and conditions? if this, then on, if not then off, like a leaky faucet.
i shall probably never get married...and i have reconciled myself to the darkness of my own saturnine self and solitude, that i have wrapped around me like a comfort cloth.
i am shunning people. i do not take my calls. it is voluntary. i do not care to make human contact anymore. because it always ends like this.
i and my ideas alone exist...
i am almost a solipsist already.
despair- the final sin.
malignant fate- my own ill luck- wrong choice of people?
whatever.
solitude is all i crave nowadays. and the unhappiness will become almost bearable someday.
8 comments:
When all is lost, hope remains...for a better life...with or without the people whom we love. I understand your need for solitude...but then, I'm always there whenever you need me :)
L~
im sorry, L, but at a point, hope too dies. now all im focussing on is my masters degree.
Focus on it then...you need to focus on yourself more than on anyone else. I've been through this last year...remember? At the end of it all, you will realise that there is no one more important than yourself. The rest of them are but mirages.
L~
Solitude is not only a way to heal your bruises, but also the path to attaining complete freedom, in the true spiritual sense. When you do, the self shines from within, and the glory attracts spontaneously, without having to try conciously. Experience bliss, and the joy will overflow on to others someday...
Best of luck... may God support you in standing true to your decisions and help you reclaim yourself and your life back... :)
i cant even concentrate on asters anymore . when you abnegate your self so totally to someone....it all vanishes, my very reaso to live has gone. and i dont want another. ive given up. on everything and everyone. including myself.
Your concentration on master's degree is ur hope, whether u want to call it that or not. And shunning human contact for a while is ok. Human contact will not shun u! Take care, my friend. I can understand somewhat your pain. But as the wearer only knows where the shoe pinches, cannot write more on it. Take care. Take care!
Miss your posts...:( hope to c u back soon...
"given up on everything and everyone
including myself."
now i see the mirror of me
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